Healthy, Wealthy & Wow!

This post will be short and shhhhhhhhhhhh!  Don’t tell!

Have you noticed that the word Secret has become the common title for anything being taught? I apologize to the people I love who use this word. The first time I remember hearing it used to describe something to teach -rather than something to “fill me in on” – was when I was studying Stephen Covey’s, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I do remember loving the book. I didn’t question the word “secret” being used then.

I’ve become entranced with the word SECRET. I’m beginning to think it’s become the most overused word we have. It’s also used oddly. Instead of being something we don’t really want to “let out of the bag”, it’s become what we want to teach.  Does it make it seem more important for the student (the adult student, i.e., the shopper)

I hear an element of “Shhh!” in the word “secret”. I’m not supposed to be privy to that information. There’s something “naughty” about me knowing it.

But, isn’t what’s being taught in the video The Secret or the books that use the word merely something someone knows that you don’t yet know?   I wonder if kids in my first grade class in Brooklyn would have gotten more exited about arithmetic if we were told we were going to learn “the secret of addition!”? How about “the secret of spelling”?  This type of secret isn’t quite like “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”. Kids love knowing what they’re not supposed to know. At least, we did when we were kids. But “secret”, when I was a kid, meant “hush-hush”.

Secret could have a happy connotation at times like a “surprise birthday party” for someone should be kept secret till the event. That still implies to me that someone shouldn’t know something rather than everybody will be better off knowing this.

What is clever about using the word “secret” is that the slightly forbidden implication does attract people. Hmm…forbidding attracting…that could make another whole post.

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I’ve been facing one of the most interesting challenges of my life. I’m not saying that it’s an “I could die” challenge. However, it is VERY interesting to me. I’d be very interested to know what other seniors think of it.

I’m getting more and more evidence, through my daily activities, about the need for changing attitudes about technology among many people -especially men and women in the over 60 age range.  As you must know by now I authored a book about attaining and maintaining your optimum weight and fitness and I geared it to the over 50 years old group. While the same principle holds true for all age groups I geared it to that age range because I speak the language of older people and there are many of us now. I felt (I know) I could help many, many people. The method I designed for myself worked and continues to work for me. I can help people design their very own plan, one they can stick with because it’s geared to their body and because it’s designed to fit right into their own daily lifestyle.

I had/have the best mentor one could hope for, Bill Quain, who has coached many successful authors for years. He had to admit there’s been a change in the past couple of years since I began writing the book.

People I know and people I get to give talks to almost always get excited and buy the book and enjoy it and use it. Many people who read it have sent me the most heartwarming testimonies! To a person they tell me how much they love the cover design by Jack Parry of Parry Design. You can see a few of the testimonies and the book cover on my site www.bobbiehorowitz.com under Author. You can watch a recorded tele-seminar explaining what the book is about AND why it’s title is what it is. I’m overjoyed by the response of people I’ve gotten in touch with.

Okay – why am I writing this post?

People who have not met me or haven’t been on my email list won’t find my book!  In the past people would meander through a bookstore. They’d go to the shelves where all the books about a subject they might be interested would be.  They’d be attracted to a pretty cover with a clever title and they’d pick it up and browse through it.  My book would do great in that environment.

When people search the web, the process is quite different. They put in the topic they’re looking for (as simply as possible so that just those books they might be interested in show up. They have to keep the topic title simple so they get right to what they want. Some people might refer to the change as a “dumbing down” of our society.  Rather than having the title allude to something special in the particular book, it’s got to be very simple and blunt and not creative to get a high number of hits.  KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) is the rule of the day.

There are people who specialize in doing “key word searches” i.e., which words are used most often to search for a particular type of item.  I’m writing a second book with a title that’s based on a ”key word search.”  I’m actually co-authoring it with a wonderful man I was introduced to by Bill Quain. He was in Bill’s class. They’re a bit more than a decade younger than I.   I’ll write more about him and what the book is about when it’s ready to be published.

I can use this book, which will come up on web searches to continue to help seniors and also to bring attention to my first book. I can mention my other book when this book comes up on the search. They do go together nicely.   I do notice that books are being churned out these days.  I want to make sure our new book has great merit before publishing it  – and – today one needs to get it out there FAST.  I feel like I’m entering the Twenty First Century.

Remember a previous post in which I mentioned that I see the world progressing like the flame coming from a match that’s been lit?  We’re somewhere not that far from the beginning of that flame and we’re in a period of major transition.  We’ve quickly transforming from the Industrial Age to the Information Age. Change is always a bit frightening. When I get concerned about my ability to learn the technology I freeze up for and instant and then I allow the “freeze up” sensations to be there and I dive into the waves of technology! Keeping up with the world keeps me young!

I’d love you to follow the process!

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It seems as though I’ve become obsessed with language.  I’ve recently realized how much our language can affect our thoughts and perceptions. I used to forget that people invented language as a means of sharing information with each other.  Once I started noticing oddities in our word usage it seems as though more oddities kept popping up.  I’m pretty certain these oddities can affect the way we think about things and I bet it affects all people.  I’m quite sure that English isn’t the only language in which this phenomenon occurs.  English, however, did become the second language for many people who came to America, England and other English speaking countries are home to people from many different homelands who were seeking refuge or a better life for themselves and their families. They found safe ground in English speaking countries. Of course, this wasn’t the case two thousand years ago. In recent (the past 2,000) years give or take a few, I wonder if we have greater bits of other languages incorporated into English than other languages have English or other languages incorporated into them.

Google has many listings about the oddities in our language. When I was younger I wouldn’t have even noticed this phenomenon.  Here’s an example of words with opposite meanings, in certain cases, coming to mean the same thing.  I couldn’t find the reason this may have occurred. For example, I couldn’t find a satisfactory answer explaining the reason “coming” and ”going” have been used to mean exactly the same thing.  When asked how things are going, I’ve heard some people say, “They’re coming along fine.” I’ve also heard people answer the same question or  “How are things coming?” by saying,   “Everything is going along fine.”

I found an interesting blog written by a linguist from the UK, who calls herself LynneGuist. Her actual name is M Lynne Murphy. She’s a Senior Lecturer in Linguistics and English Language at the University of Sussex. She finds lots of oddities in the English Language. She talks about interesting British and American differences in the use of certain expressions. For example, In England one would say, “it’s down to you” to mean ‘it’s your responsibility to do that’, whereas an America one would say “it’s up to you” to mean the same thing!

What am I getting from all this?  When I was younger it seemed as though my friends and I often took the meanings of words to be sacrosanct.  Now, I’m noticing that absolute opposites are, sometimes, used do mean the same thing.  What this is doing for me is opening my mind to the possibility that things, possibly even historical events, etc didn’t happen the way we think they did – because the words describing what happened may have had different meanings when the scribe or historian was writing about an event. When I was a kid my teachers seemed to regard historical writings as using words to mean what a dictionary said they meant.  Now, I “get” that what was written about an historical event is not only just someone’s (or some group’s) view of what happened – it could have happened differently than we’ll interpret it as having happened because the words themselves were used differently.  It doesn’t mean the translation is “bad”. It just means it’s different that we think it is. Words may be used that were also used at the time of the event; but these words didn’t have the same meaning when the event occured as they do now. So, we may be interpreting the events wrongly. I’m sure that humans tried to create words that described the things, they were created to represent, as accurately as possible. However, humans made the words up and we shouldn’t get too hung up on words when we’re trying to interpret communications we get.

Can you think of any opposite words that can be used to mean the same thing?

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In all cultures people who help people are looked up to. I think most people want their work to help people.  Many people I know say they’re only working for the money –  but even if they’re not working at their dream job, I tend to think most people try to find something in their job that makes them feel as though they’re helping people.  People who are working at a job that’s helping them fulfill their life’s goal are especially blessed in that area. My wonderful hairdresser helps me present myself well and he should earn money for that. My hairdresser also has a radio show, “The Colin Lively Show”, and I’ve been delighted to guest star on it.  Someone who teaches you to better present a song, as David Friedman does so well, is helping his students and he deserves to earn money for doing that. I also highly recommend David’s “Thought Exchange” to deal with the body sensations that occur when you want to do perfectly acceptable things that scare you for one reason or another. The book is on Amazon.com. Through my book and workshops I help people have fun songs to sing and/or use at thei events and to present themselves and feel great and remain ever youthful and fit and forward thinking. Bill Quain mentored me in terms of publishing and, especially, marketing the book I wrote. He is a born helper.  I’m also very proud of my son, David Slone. I learned that the performers in his Variety shows get paid for having performed even one number. He paid me when I did a number in Le Squeezebox Review!  The performers deserve to get paid and David deserves to earn money for having produced the show.  That’s the way it used to be and I think this is one “used to be” in night clubs and I think this is one “used to be” that would do well to be reinstated.

Even if you’re an actor who is temporarily working as a waiter, you’re helping the people you serve and the owners of the place in which you work.  You are a contribution.

Think about the ways in which YOU help people. I bet you’ll come up with dozens! Guess what? You can be willing to give your all and know you’re allowed to get paid for what you contribute to people.

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I find that a great thing to think of when dressing during the winter months is “layers”. They can be thin layers. Friends complain they’re freezing and I’m happy because I have many layers warming my torso.  If your style is even slightly dramatic a silk turtleneck will work beautifully. I recommend tees and knee socks made by a company called Wintersilks, because they come in great colors and they take up no space under clothing. I can put lightweight cashmere sweater over that and under a suit or sport jacket. These three layers, worn under a winter coat, should provide the warmth you need. I’ll speak of accessories in my next blog.

• If you’d like to be certain of your style, so you know whether a VNeck sweater or round neck sweater suits you better, a shorter suit jacket or a longer one is best for you, rough or smooth fabrics suit your style, etc. I will be giving “video-conference” workshops in style in the next couple of months. It will be on my website as soon as the first is scheduled.

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This year’s Nutcracker Rated R has only three performances left. The dates are next Thursday, 12/29/11 at 8:00PM and 11:PM and on Friday 12/30/11 at 8:00PM.   I was wondering how it would work in a “club” space. In past years it played in a “theater”.  I got my answer this past Thursday. It not only worked it outdid the well-reviewed performances of the past years. The room was packed!  If you are in NYC don’t miss it. It maybe sold out. Call (212) 505-3474. The Box Office opens at 5PM. I recommend Le Poisson Rouge (158 Bleecker Street) in general. The service was great and guests felt welcomed.  It’s in the space that once held The Village Gate, famous for great shows for 38 years. I’m blessed to have known the owner, Art D’Lugoff.

Words and phrases we use are still flying into my head and I realize I don’t understand many I’ve been using for years. I dare say that very few people, if any, do understand these phrases they use. Why do people often say, “To be honest” before a remark? Do they often plan to not be honest?  In the past week, More than a few friends and acquaintances have started a sentence with, “To be honest”, I never thought much about this or that until this year.

I caught myself saying it, just the other day. I was asked about the types of gifts I would like to receive this holiday season.  I said, “To be honest I”… Wait a minute! I don’t usually lie  – or do I?  Do I try to sound like I think other people would want me to sound?  I might be doing that. It makes people feel like “insiders”. I bet people who say that to me want me to feel as thought I’m a close enough friend to know their “real” feelings.

We needn’t begin our answers by mentioning our honesty in the question at hand; especially if we intend to be honest. I finally got that it’s perfectly fine to ask for what we want for Christmas and Chanukah and Cuanza, etc.

This year I’ll simply ask for peace of mind and health and the ability to support myself through the work I love doing that helps people. I won’t put  “to be honest, I’d like” in front of it. I may feel “goody goody” saying that, but why should I? It’s a great thing to be able to do work you love that also helps others. I’m going to drop my thoughts about being a goody goody and ask for what I need. You can ask too!  I’m honest  I’m quite sure you’re honest too!

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When you visit NYC or a city that houses clothing design establishments try to get on the companies’ lists so that you can get notices of their sample sales.  This year, there are many holiday sample sales. You can often get jackets and trousers for less that a tenth of the retail price!  There are Sample Sales  for men as well as for women.

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It’s that time of year again!!!!!!! It feels like a week ago Nutcracker Rated R closed its 5^th season with F. Murray Abraham providing the opening number!  This year, it’s 6^th season, the show opens on December 22^nd at Le Poisson Rouge in NYC. (Le Poisson Rouge is in the space that for many years was The Village Gate.) The form will be slightly changed and the length will be shortened to fit the new exciting space. 158 Bleecker Street  -  (212) 505-3474.  To learn more about the show and read reviews from past seasons click on: http://www.nutcrackerratedr.com

I’m beginning to think I was really a philosophy major like my sister and my son were. My mind seems to be connecting into the universe these days.  I start looking for a topic to write a funny song about and whoosh there comes another philosophy lesson!

I’ve been working on helping people shift their thoughts about aging. To do this, as you know, I had to look at our culture’s thoughts about aging.    To me aging simply means getting more experience. The underlying “truth”, that I’ve come to realize, is that when we truly use our experiences to learn the benefits we’ve gotten from both the “fun” moments and the “dreary” moments this planet has offered us –  and when we unlearn the many falsehoods we’ve been taught through our years on Earth –  the “fact” may appear to be that we’re “changing” as a result these enlightening experiences. I see the “truth” being that we’re really learning to return to being the pure creation we were born as and truly are.

• Our body keeps the style it was born with. People will say the fact is that our body changes and becomes old.  I now see that the truth is our body may become a worn down version of the one we were born into this life with – like a worn out Cadillac Convertible or a worn out truck.” It also how worn down it becomes can depend on choices we make – and isn’t a worn down Caddy still a Caddy?
• As you may know in my book “Find Your mini-Qs(?): Reveal the Slim, Strong, Sexy Star You Truly Are! at Age 50, 60, 70, and Beyond” I guide you to design day-by-day choices that will keep your body (you can think of it as your vehicle to travel Earth with) in as good shape as possible for you.

So – the facts will support the view that if you’re older you’re supposedly less able to go out there and create a new career, be hired for a job, by healthy, etc. etc.  because people usually go along with what they’ve been taught.

• However, the truth is that there are people of all different ages who reinvent themselves. Therefore, you can too, when you’re older if you still have your mental facilities (and today you can even choose to take steps to better maintain your mind). A 70 year old can write and publish his/her first book. Hey, I did and other positive people over 60 years of age, that I’m thrilled to have been meeting of late, have either developed new careers, become helpful to a company that recently hired them as an employee or found their true love!

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 It’s finally getting chilly in New York City and ‘tis the season for snows to begin in certain places. I’ve found it to be true that when your head is kept covered and warm, your whole body is warmer. I find that, in this kind of weather, I can do without the winter coat – if I cover my head.  I can wear lightweight wool or knit cape and a man can wear a sport jacket or my raincoat with a sweater that’s over a thin silk turtleneck, under it. There are soft fabric hats (that you can slip into a bag if it’s not that cold when you leave home) for both women and men. For women, I love fabric berets that are on the larger side. Berets are not everyone’s style. But there should be a soft hat that is in your style. The same goes for men.

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Seasonal holiday entertainments are sprouting up all over the country. Now that Halloween has passed we head to Thanksgiving. If you’re in New York City on Thanksgiving and you’ve never experienced The Macy’s Day Parade – it’s worth getting to.  AND…the night before the parade, if you can, get to the site where the balloons are blown up. It’s quite an event! It begins around 4pm on Thanksgiving Eve in the area between 77th & 81st Streets and Central Park West and Columbus Avenue.  My mom, the late Selma Horowitz discovered and loved this event in her late 80s!  It’s great for all young at heart adults and kids.

It’s hard to avoid listening to the news. I usually feel like I’m getting someone’s negative opinion of what’s happening rather than simply seeing what’s happening. That said, it’s very hard not to hear about protests these days if you live in New York City.

While walking home from an appointment today I couldn’t get the word “Protest” out of my head and, lo and behold, I had one of those Aha Moments!

• It dawned on me that we use the word protest to mean “standup against” or “fight” something. However, the word is made up of
  •  “pro”, which means “in favor of” and
  • “ test”, which means to “take action see if something works or doesn’t”.

This implies that the word means to be in favor of examining whether or not things are working (testing them) – and that could imply coming up with solutions that would work – if the method or action being tested shows negative test results. This would mean that it doesn’t do the job that’s needed to serve everyone.  Wouldn’t this be a much better way to look at things?

When people work together to find the best solutions that will serve as many people as possible (hopefully all people), instead of the unhappy group “fighting” the group that put in the system that’s being used – we’ll have more time to enjoy things!  If two groups of people want two different things (for reasons other than power or ego – there’s the rub) I’m PRO (in favor of) TESTING different solutions to find the one that best gets both groups what they need.

I understand that human history makes it difficult to accomplish this – However, while it isn’t “easy” it is simple. Again – it’s about unlearning. We need to unlearn what people throughout history – well meaning as some may have been – have wrongly taught us.   Oscar Hammerstein said it in South Pacific’s, “You’ve Got To Be Taught”.

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 It’s finally getting chillier in New York City and ‘tis the season for show to begin in certain places. I’ve found it to be true that if your head is dept covered and warm, your whole body is warmer. I find that, in this kind of weather, I can do without the winter coat – if I cover my head.  I can wear a lightweight wool or knit cape and a man can wear a sport jacket and with a sweater under it. There are soft fabric hats (that you can slip into a bag if it’s not that cold when you leave home) for both women and men. For women, I love fabric berets that are on the larger side. Berets are not everyone’s style. But there should be a soft hat that is in your style. The same goes for men.

Free Entertainment Tip

 Seasonal holiday entertainments are sprouting up all over the country. Now that Halloween has passed we head to Thanksgiving. If you’re in New York City on Thanksgiving and you’ve never experienced The Macy’s Day Parade – it’s worth getting to.  AND…the night before the parade, if you can, get to the site where the balloons are blown up. It’s quite an event! It begins around 4pm on Thanksgiving Eve in the area between 77th & 81st Streets and Central Park West and Columbus Avenue.  My mom, the late Selma Horowitz discovered and loved this event in her late 80s!  It’s great for all young at heart adults and kids.

The August 1^st Switch was great for me. I loved contemplating the phrases I heard about ages. Oddly enough – or should I say, “As usually happens” I didn’t get what I’d expected.

I’ve listed  the rest of the one-liners I’d originally planned to send you one at a time at the bottom of this post in place of the fashion and entertainment tip. Those return with my next post.

I’m sure you quickly figured out that I was pointing out that all ages have their joys and challenges, but of late it’s older people that get the gaff about their age.

I’ve spoken about some of the things that have bugged me in this area and I will take a stand (or a computer) to stop them. I refer to hardly being able to find a kind birthday card for someone over 50 and trillions of articles talking about having to look younger. Looking well and gorgeous is great by me, but why younger? I still like the looks of all ages, however I find I’m now more attracted to the looks of male contemporaries than the younger fellows.

What did I get from contemplating the phrases re age?  I was truly listening to more live conversations – on the bus, at meetings, etc. – than reading writings about what people were saying about a group to each other, I made it a point to listen for this.

• I totally got that be it deriding the age group, or applauding it – the phrases mean absolutely nothing!
  • For one thing, you can’t talk about people as a group – unless they chose to join the group.  Each person is a person. Within the “group” everyone isn’t alike. Plus, each person’s perception of what they’re seeing in the group they’re referring to is different.

What did I get about the phrases re age that were totally unexpected?

• I heard much more kvetching about Infants and Toddlers than I heard about any other group!!!! Can you believe that?
  • I could write a whole post about the joy that Infants & Toddlers in my building bring to me. Those screaming and crying sounds people were objecting to are what I call “delicious attempts at communication!.

Here’s the list of the rest of the One-Liners

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to praise and applaud “The 20 Somethings”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Teenagers”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to praise and applaud “Teenagers” affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Pre-Teens”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to praise and applaud “Pre-Teens” affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Toddlers”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Toddlers”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Infants”, affected your thoughts?

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of  “Toddlers”, affected your thoughts?

Your Line for the week of September 4th

• How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage and/or make fun of attributes of “ The 20 Somethings” affected your thoughts?

How have phrases you’ve heard or read, that were being used to disparage or make fun of “Middle Age”, affected your thoughts?