I’m Allowed To Be Perfect Once In a While! So There!

This is a new one for me!. This is something I never thought of. It didn’t enter my mind that this could happen. I’ve written about not needing to be perfect and that beating our selves up for not being perfect is a fool’s occupation.

One day last week I thought I began to doubt my sanity. Have you ever thought that you might be a little crazy?  I was ready to head upstairs to the track in the gym in my building because the weather was making it less than safe to do my walking “mini-Q”s in the street. Before I could leave my apartment, I automatically began washing my dirty glass, carefully putting my dish in the dishwasher.  wiping my carving knife, putting away my garbage bags and making neat piles of anything that was unfinished in my workspace…etc., etc, etc. There I was  – feeling the need to leave my apartment clean enough for the Duchess of Windsor to visit. I was only going up to the gym for a half hour!  The chance of me needing to bring someone back to my apartment was most likely zero. I didn’t even realize I was walking to my bedroom until I got there and checked that the bed covers were straight and the stuffed animals were in their correct positions and no extra pieces of jewelry were left on the dresser and the bathroom towels were folded properly.

Then I started on myself. “Barbara! (I notice that when l reprimand myself I usually call myself Barbara.) ”You know you said you didn’t believe in trying to be perfect! Stop this craziness Barbara and get up to the gym!! You’re just wasting time. You start straightening up when you need to market to businesses too. Just stop it! You’re procrastinating and you know it!”

  • Have you ever spoken to yourself that way –  about being overly concerned with having everything in its correct place, etc.?

I must admit that while part of my “perfectionist” activity may be procrastination, I do feel like a successful person when my space looks nice. I work better (or I think I work better ) without clutter. I know I inherited this or, more correctly, I learned it from my father.  But – so what?

The light in my brain turned on and I had a big AHA! moment. Making myself wrong for a little perfectionism is just as negative as making myself wrong for not being perfect! I know this sounds like “ya can’t win!” – but it  made me laugh and that really led me to stop beating myself up for things. I saw how often I put myself in a damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t situation. I haven’t gotten down on myself once since that Aha! Moment and it occurred over a week ago! I’m telling you this story so it can help you.  Do you ever beat up on yourself?  I’ve met very few people who never do. My son is the only one who comes to mind. It’s interesting that he never beat up on anybody or talked ill about others either.  It reinforces a concept professor Milton Konvitz taught us at Cornell. He espoused that we all love our neighbors exactly the way we love ourselves. I see that as meaning that if everyone loved him/herself we would have peace on Earth.

  • I talk about Professor Konvitz and this thought in my book, “Find Your min-Qs(?)* Reveal the Slim, Strong, Sexy Star You Truly Are! at Age 50, 60, 70, and Beyond.” You can order it if you wish by clicking on www.bobbiehorowitz.com and then clicking on Author. It’s also on Amazon, etc.



II find myself led to talk about what I consider to be THE most important image concept i.e., that Style and Fashion are two different things. There’s nothing wrong with fashion and it can be fun to see changes. Of course, fashion has to change because changing fashion  exists to sell clothing – and, to some degree to entertain us. Your style however is your style. You were born with it and it’s always yours. Do be sure to have your style analyzed by a consultant who knows style. I’ll be glad to see you if you’re in NYC or help you find someone in your area. Note that you can add little elements of the season’s fashion to your outfit, if the fashion of the day doesn’t match your style,. This can help you look like you belong in the society you’re in at that moment. However, remember to always communicate your style to the world. This is true for men and women. You’re a unique work of art. Find the frame that harmonizes with you, the artwork. I’ll talk more about this next time.


Are there entertainment awards for live performances given in your town? We all know about the Tony Awards, however there are dozens of awards given for different forms of performance all over the country. It can be fun for you to read your local papers and see what awards are given and then round up a group of friends to go to as many performances as you possibly can in a category, e.g., theater, concerts, magic shows, burlesque shows, etc. and think of those you’d nominate for an award in the genre you’ve chosen. Then, when the nominations come out, you can have a party and vote for the ones you think will win.

Published in: on January 28, 2011 at 2:40 am  Leave a Comment  

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