“Good Time to Practice the Fun “Guilty” Process Mentioned In My Book – (or learn it now!)”

Healthy Wealthy & Wow! 

If you’ve read my book, “Find Your mini-Qs (?) Reveal
The Slim, Strong, Sexy Star You Truly Are! at Age 50, 60, 70, and Beyond”, you probably remember my talking about a fun way to avoid eating things that will lead to your becoming less fit when you’re out with others. This is especially true around the holiday party season that’s getting into full swing now. During a “Six Week – Strong, Slim, Sexy Seminar” I held a few years ago, we were discussing how to not be swayed into overeating or eating poorly when out with others. When I thought the session had been completed, I happened to talk about an experience I had while serving on a Jury. The person on trial wasn’t being accused of having committed a life threatening crime. He was accused of stealing from Bloomingdale’s and there was a video showing him taking the item from a counter. His penalty wouldn’t be atrocious. Before any discussion began our Jury Forman asked whoever thought he was guilty to raise their hand. All hands went up! He then said, “Now, let’s discuss why he may not have been guilty. The discussion took 7 minutes and we voted and the judge commended us for our handling the case.

Tom Stajmiger, a brilliant participant in that seminar jumped up and said, “What a great Idea! Whenever I’m out at a buffet business lunch I’m going to point at the items laid out on the serving table and give each one a “Guilty!” or a ‘Not Guilty” vote.  The guilty items won’t have the pleasure of being eaten by me!

Do you see how brilliant that idea truly is? It’s not that “you can’t have the cake”. It’s that the cake doesn’t get to have you!  You don’t lose – the cake loses! This takes the “no no” feeling out of making a choice not to have food you don’t need to have. It’s been working for me and, the each time I’ve bumped into Tom in town he seems to have gotten fitter and fitter and fitter. When last I saw him, he was in great shape!

The point is to make the process as much fun as possible.  Believe it or not, in time you won’t even crave the things that aren’t the best choices for you! Try it the next time you have to choose food with a group of people at a business or social event.

Bobbie Horowitz Productions

This may pertain more to entertainers choosing what shows they will see than to audience members who aren’t in the “biz”. I can certainly identify with people who feel they can’t say “no” when it came to seeing shows their friends want to see, therefore missing out on entertainments they want to see. I would like audience members, who aren’t in the entertainment business go to every possible show they can go to. However, my joy is to see them buying the tickets because they want to. I want new audience memebers to keep coming to theater! If pleasing their friend gets them to buy a ticket to a show and they’ve never been to theater before – and after seeing the show they fall in love with live entertainment – that’s another story. I feel that live entertainment is your gift to yourself. If you’re feeling you “have” to see everything or what your friends want to see rather than what you want to see, the joy you’d normally get out of it can be lessened.

I wrote a parody of Vernon Duke’s, “Autumn in New York” that I call “Scheduling in New York!” I have a feeling the concept holds for many places in this country and around the globe.  I think that the “Guilty” or “Not Guilty” process could help potential audience members. See which entertainments will serve you most. Granted many will be good for you, however, there are just so many hours in a day and so many things you can possibly attend. People involved in the performing arts are especially prone to feeling they have to go to everything. God forbid, they should hurt a fellow entertainer’s feeling by missing their show. Entertainers, producers and writers also want the others in the field to see their shows so they feel they’d best see everyone’s show. I’ll admit I can find myself feeling terrified of missing someone’s show. But I can’t go to more than two a night and, if shows are scheduled at the same time I can’t go to both.

To stay physically and mentally fit we need to learn to be able to say “no” to some entertainments. The entertainers in them and the projects’ and the projects’ creators have to understand that people can’t be out 24hours a day seeing everything.  Look at each commitment that’s facing you and say either “Guilty!” or “Not Guilty!”– i.e., “Dear product – I don’t need you enough to go through what it would take to promote you. “ Then to a person who feels you have to be at their show –  “Perhaps I can see your show and help you out another time. “

Is it great to support friends and colleagues? You bet it is. That said, you can give only so much audience support during any given day or week! When you really want to attend a friend’s event or you really feel you need to support – and it helps if they’re emotionally supporting you as well.


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Published in: on November 25, 2013 at 3:44 pm  Leave a Comment  

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