I Recently Discovered That The Person I’ve Always Been Blaming For My Hurts Is..ME!

Healthy, Wealthy & Wow!                      

I unfortunately hired a nefarious woman and her male business partner to be consultants on the not for profit arts in education company I’d founded. I’ve mentioned this happening in previous blogs. What I just came to realize is that when I think about the happenings attached to this my hiring this woman, I’m always blaming me for hiring her. The many wonderful people who hired Bernie Madoff to manage their money were duped – but they weren’t either stupid or evil. What I’ve discovered helps me in terms of getting back into action in my entertainment career is to think of other writers, performers and producers that allowed themselves to believe less than upstanding people. Hey, “Nobody’s Perfect!”


I realize that carrying the thought that I failed due to this hire was keeping my energy from getting more “Yes” answers in certain areas. It didn’t affect my songwriting or performing because I didn’t unconsciously (or consciously) link hiring her to that area of my work. Now that I focus on not blaming myself in any of the areas I’m beginning to get “Yes” from people in the areas of my work that weren’t growing as I thought they should grow. Take a look at things you’ve done – unknowingly when you did them –in which the person you needed to trust was not to be trusted. See if you’ve been blaming yourself, perhaps unknowingly, for the results. Realize that now you have more knowledge about what traits to look for when hiring someone or working with or for someone. You’ll learn how to check up on people to see if they are who they say they are.


Bobbie Horowitz Productions, Inc.


I’m beginning to use my own love of theater and entertainment to learn how to deal with being “done wrong”! There are great theatrical pieces that can help you see that you needn’t be to blame for everything that goes wrong in your life. What you do need to do is see what the elements were in the situation and learn from the mistake.


Many great stars had managers who “rooked” them big time. This happened more with women than with men. However, there were cases in which men were duped. It’s great to read about those that became stronger as a result.

By all means, if you haven’t yet read it get a copy of David Kaufman’s “Doris Day: The Untold Story of the Girl Next Door”! One would think that I wouldn’t have fallen into the trap of “self blame” given that, being a friend of David’s, I read the book as soon as it came out. It just shows that when we have a thought pattern we need to keep reminding ourselves that we needn’t keep it.


Also Think of Falstaff in “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Macbeth”, in which King Duncan gets other men to fight his battle.


Does this mean all the “good” people were bad for allowing him/herself to be “took”? Yes – they needed to learn – so they wouldn’t keep getting took… AND constant self-deprecation could have killed them. It did kill some.

I highly advice you see a production of “Macbeth” and of “Merry Wives of Windsor”, if you haven’t already seen this classic.


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Published in: on August 29, 2014 at 8:02 pm  Leave a Comment  

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