Here I am on Earth! I’m ME.

The other people are all here to help me, isn’t that what Selma and Morty (mommy and daddy told me? “We’re a wonderful family. Your grampa worked hard to be a successful attorney and found a law firm that your Daddy is now a partner at. YOU deserve all the best in world as my daughter, Barbara!”

I was always told I was entitled to all the good in the world. I suppose my mom was trying to make me feel comfortable; but it didn’t register as comfort in my brain. I always felt I needed to be better than, smarter than, healthier than, richer than, etc. etc. etc. all my friends. I now realize that my mom didn’t mean to create those thoughts in me. She just wanted me to be comfortable.

Of course, she also wanted me to be the “best kid in town!”

My dad, who I also adored (he was my idle along with his brother, my Uncle Arnie. Arnie, however, also became my confidant. He was head of the English Department at New Utrecht High School, the high school I attended and (yep) of which I became GO President!

I now realize what people running for president may be going through. I think I wrote about a similar issue a long while ago. Feeling I had to be “Number1” all the time made me more nervous than more secure. I find I go through this time and again.

On March 26th (of this year) I won my THIRD MAC AWARD for BEST EMCEE (2016, 2017 & 2019!) You would think I’d be relaxed and totally at ease about any project I’d been trying to launch. Guess what?

I don’t think I need to write any more here. I’m pretty sure you understand what I’m feeling.

I have 9 wonderful people coming for the yearly Seder I hold. My amazing son heads the reading and wonderful people from the entertainment community attend. Today I’m as nervous as I’ve ever been preparing for it. I do hire help for this event and, still every year I worry if everything will work out as wanted. Plus, “Why haven’t I been writing new songs” and “Why haven’t I been planning where I’ll hold my 80th Birthday show and what the exact theme of it will be” etc. etc. etc.

What’s interesting is that when I speak with others about these feelings most of the people I speak with say they have the same feelings.

Maybe these feelings we have that we need to prove ourselves are what inspire us to action and when enough humans are inspired to action our planet can progress.

Could it be that it’s good not 100% helpful to the planet if everyone is totally secure? They say when we’re secure we can create more. I thought I believed that, but now I’m beginning to wonder. I know the world of psychology will say “Uh uh Bobbie! You need to always be secure. I realize I’ve written about this before because I think it keep recurring in my mind, and maybe that’s telling me find any scientific research that may have been done- or is presently being done on this topic.

I see many writings about research and/or philosophic thought about this issue. We’ve probably all read the Dalai Lama has to say about the purpose of life being to Uplift Connect. However, perhaps there was a purpose in the creation of human feelings we’re not good enough. Perhaps not feeling we’re good enough leads to the research that will make Humanity get better and stronger.

Okay – I think it’s time to have some fun!

I give the Second Seder, which my son leads. I love celebrating the thought the Angel of Death passed over us. Then on Sunday morning I’ll go to Unity to celebrate Easter.

I wish you all a celebratory weekend!

Published in: on April 19, 2019 at 5:50 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Blessings to you and all our theatre loved ones on this Passover and Easter wknd. True to be secure is to be able to create freely and to be forced into uncertainty over next months living situation does create harm and foul phenomenon to hinder us!😥

  2. Blessings to you Paul.

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